At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
