Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
