I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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