I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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