i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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