i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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