the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
