I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
