i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize