hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
