how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
