Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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