At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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