he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My vagina is very pro this idea
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