i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
