I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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