I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
