Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
