I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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