I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
