didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
