That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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