I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
