At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Randomize
