He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
