I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
