8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
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How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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