I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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