Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
