I'm really into asian looking animals
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
