You just made me feel so damn special
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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