two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
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And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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