Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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