apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
