He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't deserve a penis
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
