Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i think i have herpe
just one?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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