Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
