Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
