Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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