So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
