Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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