i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
