i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
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You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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