He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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