You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We just shotgunned beers for America
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
