honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
