I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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