My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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