My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
