I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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