You can't motorboat a personality
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
