even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
