I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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