So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
two words: eviction party
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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