whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
