Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
