Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
