Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
