i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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