Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
