so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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