Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize