I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
